I recently heard a woman say, “I’d rather stay single for the rest of my life than to be someone’s THIRD wife!” She had just met a man that told her he has been divorced twice.
Be careful with statements like these. It probably stems from your need for everything to be perfect, movie-like or fairy tale-like. The reality is your future husband MAY have been married before. And that is OK.
It is not a red flag that he has been married before. The REASON that it did not work out, however, could be a red flag.
People get divorced. Sometimes the fault is on one of them. Sometimes it is both of them.
People learn from their mistakes. Some men are BETTER husbands because they know exactly what they did wrong in their previous marriage.
You can have a preference on wanting someone who hasn’t been married before. But I recommend never ruling out an entire category of people by saying “I will NEVER date” so and so. Not wise.
You don’t know the package that your mate will come in. You also do not know what he will have endured, gone through, suffered or overcome. But he will be a great fit for you NOW, despite his past. So give him a chance and don’t prejudge anyone. Find out more before you decide anything.
That is all I am asking. Ask the questions and see what you learn before you decide.
Check out this show I did a few years ago with a life coach that works with divorced men. LISTEN HERE
And don’t forget, you are also not perfect. Your guy will have to put up with and deal with your former mistakes, issues and areas. But hopefully you have grown and matured from your past. Give him the same courtesy.
Isn’t it time for YOU to find LOVE? Join Kiki in her Married in 2 Years or Less Program. Visit http://www.kikistrickland.com/program for more information.
As featured in EBONY Magazine
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Kiki Strickland
“Married in 2 Years or Less” Dating Coach p: 202-718-7797
a: 1629 K St NW Suite 300 Washington, DC 20006
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