Ladies, this post is by someone else. What do you think of her points?
Why He Disappeared or Chose the Other Woman Over You
By DeAnna Lorraine
Thought you had a great date with a guy…But then he never called? Or perhaps you were dating a guy and you thought everything was going swell… But then he suddenly went MIA or he ditched you for someone else? Well, men look for certain things in the early dating stages and if the guy you were into suddenly disappeared or ditched you for another woman, here are some of the most common reasons why…
Why a man would choose another Girl over you:
- She was in better physical shape, or looks better all around. Remember men are VISUAL creatures! Physical appearance and body upkeep is #1 on their Attraction Radar. This is especially important if you’re a woman over 30 to make sure you’re in very good shape, your body is toned and fit, and your style is put-together, feminine and flattering on you.
- She was more of a challenge – And if YOU were too available and into him. When a man is choosing between women, he will always be much more drawn to a woman that poses more of a challenge to him, and doesn’t put it all out there for him to see right away. Ever notice how in The Bachelor, the poor (but dumb) girls who always cry and pour their hearts out to him, proclaiming their love for him…Always get dumped at the end?? That’s not a coincidence.
- She was more exciting & FUN– and seems more adventurous. There’s nothing more appealing to a man than a great woman who knows how to relax, let loose, and have fun. You can do this through playful teasing, flirting, and being unpredictable (in a good way). Women who project an image that’s too conservative and rigid will extinguish a man’s interest in you for a long-term potential.
- She was more confident & emotionally stable. If you are displaying insecurities and projecting a low self-image, a man is going to choose a more confident woman over you, and he is going to place you in the “Temporary” category.
Note: This is another dating coach’s perspective and I agree with a lot of it. But if you’d like to know more about my perspective, you can download my free dating podcasts at http://www.kikistrickland.com/free-stuff
One of my favorite movies is Gone With the Wind. I was trying to watch it the other day and realized that Scarlet O’Hara was totally like today’s woman – pursuing a guy who didn’t want her and trying to make it work even after he told her to her FACE that it wasn’t going to happen.
Why do we do this, ladies?
One woman told me she was going to “Wait for him.” By this she meant she expected that one day he would finally realize that she was the one for him (even though she had been sleeping with him for two years without the commitment she wanted).
Scarlet was a hottie and had many pursuers. The guys were lining up to dance with her, pursue her, even marry her, but she set her sights on Ashley and would not give up the dream.
Rhett was totally in love with her, gave her everything she wanted but her heart just wanted what it wanted – a man who showed her no interest and even married someone else. Yes, maybe he did it out of family obligation and not love, but he married Melanie nonetheless!
Can we start behaving and acting with our BRAINS instead of our hearts?
The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it? (Jeremiah 17:9 NIV).
Sometime it hurts, but you’ve got to be smart and not stupid. Men don’t change their minds. If they say that you are not the One, believe them. Scarlet knew that Ashley had feelings for her initially, but he still chose not to act on them and married someone else. When at the end she finally realizes that Ashley does love Melanie, she finally feels free to love Rhett – too late, of course! But the truth is she should have tried to love Rhett earlier and given up the fantasy of being with someone who married another woman. Rhett was perfect for her in personality and temperament. He knew how to handle her and didn’t take too much for her controlling ways.
Why would she keep waiting for a married man?
Unfortunately women do this every day and convince themselves that things will work out for them, not caring about karma, the Word of God, the other woman involved or anyone else.
Karma is a terrible thing. Even if he left his wife and married you, how could it be any good when it has already been established that you are both cheaters?
It can’t work.
Don’t waste your time and effort on someone who won’t choose you or does not put YOU first. He is TAKEN! Let it go!
Think with your brain and act accordingly.
Check out my “Wife Material” segment on Blogtalk Radio this Saturday at 8AM on Dating Talk with Kiki Strickland.
Single ladies! Join my “Married in 2 years or Less” 90-Day program! New spots open for August now. Sign up at www.kikistrickland.com