Get a Love Life!

black-couple-on-a-date

Last night I spoke to a group of women on Love Life 101.  Get a love life – you should have one!  Most say they do not have a love life at all.  They do not go out or meet anyone, they are not doing online dating….NOTHING!   That should not be.  Not only should you have an active love life, you should be going out on at least one date a month.

There are a couple of VALID reasons that a woman may not have a love life at the moment and I shared what those are:

  1. The only reason you should not have a love life is when you are on a brief hiatus while you are working on yourself (or getting yourself together in therapy), taking care of or dealing with some issues, concerns or problems that you need to fix.
  2. or if you just got out of a relationship and need time to HEAL from it.  (If you don’t need time to heal, then keep on dating).

Other than these reasons, you should have a healthy love life.

The Cambridge Dictionary describes LOVE LIFE as the ​romanticrelationships in a person’s ​life.

So start on your love life NOW by going to a few holiday parties!  Like I said last week, there are plenty of holiday parties happening right now.  This is the time to do it.  Be friendly and mingle.  Meet at least THREE guys while you are there.

Last night I also talked about ONE aspect that may be holding you back from a successful love life.

One main reason why you may not have a love life is because you are still living in the past.

In the past maybe you only dated a certain type of guy – same look, same career, same attitude.  And even though that did not WORK for you, you are still seeking the same type.  That is a mistake.  Stop living in the past – try something different now!

Another way that we live in the past is to let bitterness, anger, or unforgiveness take over our lives and hold us back.  I recently read a novel by Danielle Steele in which the main character had held on to her anger at her ex-husband for 10 years.  Her years of hating her ex had closed her heart to men.  She had not been in a relationship since her divorce and had serious walls up around her heart.  She was afraid to let anyone hurt her again.  It was not until she finally was able to forgive him and let it go that she met a wonderful man whom she ended up marrying.

And yet another way to live in the past is to keep ex-boyfriends, ex-husbands or men who won’t commit to you around – wasting your time, waiting for him to commit or act right or make you his woman.  This is a huge mistake.  If a man has told you to your face that you are not The One, believe him.  If he has already divorced you, he left!  Don’t let the old guy keep you from a NEW MAN!  He is wasting your precious time, energy and love.

To hear the tele-class on this topic that I gave yesterday, LISTEN HERE

 

And if you would like to work together, get a FREE consultation on my Program “MARRIED IN 2 YEARS or LESS”at http://www.kikistrickland.com/the-program so that I can send you the link to schedule the consultation.  2 clients got married this year, more clients are in serious relationships headed toward marriage, and YOU CAN BE, TOO!  Get professional assistance with your love life – don’t leave things to chance anymore.

Happy Dating!

Do you want to be married in two years or less? Contact me today!
 
As Seen In EBONY Magazine
photo
Kiki Strickland
Matchmaker & Dating Coach
 
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Holidays are Here! Time to Meet & Mingle

shoppers

Every year I do a Blogtalk show on meeting people during the holidays.  This is the perfect time to get out and meet some folk.  Most of you like the holidays but not the crowds.  But really you should be going where the crowd is!  You want to be where the people are.  Where there are lots and lots of men, there will be at least a few that you will find attractive.  And of course there will be some that will find you attractive.  Black Friday?  YES!!!    Christmas shopping at the last minute?   YES!!!   But don’t go for the shopping, go with an eye on meeting some cute guys.  Grocery stores tomorrow will be packed.  Instead of avoiding it, go to the best market (Wegman’s or Whole Foods are great) and hang around for a while, chatting with those in line with you.  Make sure you make eye contact and smile!

The restaurants in shopping areas on Black Friday will be packed, as all those shoppers seek to fuel their stomachs for more shopping sprees.  Make sure you head over there!  Be at the bar area of one of the restaurants by the Mall or town center and mingle.  Instead of staying in the house, go be with the crowd for a couple of hours.  You never know who you are going to meet!

Listen to more Holiday Tips, including meeting others while traveling  HERE

 

Do you want to be married in two years or less? Contact me today!
 
As Seen In EBONY Magazine
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Kiki Strickland
Matchmaker & Dating Coach
 

New Year’s Eve Flirting Tips

Group of friends celebrating new year   Original Filename: 84372820.jpgA client of mine went to a wedding recently in the Virgin Islands.  Turns out the couple had met at a New Year’s Eve party!  Yes, people will meet tonight all over the WORLD at galas, casino nights, parties and church services.  It can happen for you, if you are prepared and ready!!!

Here are some tips for you:

1 – Pick the right party.  Know what type of men you want to meet and go where they are going to go.  Be careful, though, about other people’s perceptions of parties.  Someone who didn’t meet anyone at last year’s party may complain about it being lame or full of old dudes but that may be because they focused on only the negatives.  Another person at the same party may have met guys their age and had a wonderful time.

That brings me to my next point:

2 – Put out positive energy no matter WHERE you go!  Even if it is true that the clientele where you end up is older that you are interested in, look for the younger people.  Don’t give up and sulk in a seat somewhere.  Younger men usually arrive closer to midnight, so dance the night away happily and be found enjoying yourself when they arrive, not looking bored or sulking in a corner.  Be friendly with all the men, even the older ones!  Keep smiling.

3 – Preparation – how you look and feel is going to play a huge part in the night.  When you get glamourous and love your dress, you walk taller, smile brighter and the endorphins are pumping.  You want to dance and have a great time.  If you are self-conscious about your dress or look or don’t feel you look your best, your whole night will be different.

4 – Talk to him!  There will be lots of men hanging around, dancing or eating.  Here are some conversation starters you can use if you are not great with flirting naturally (come to one of my Flirt Nights to get in the practice that you need!):

“How was your 2014?”

“What was the most exciting thing that happened to you this year?”

“What did you do last New Year’s Eve?”

“What are you plans for 2015?”

“What is the one thing that you have to do this year?”

It’s New Year’s Eve.  It is quite easy to talk about how the year was and all the things you want to do in the future.  No need for the regular boring small talk.  Keep the conversation centered around this special time.

5 – Ask Him to Dance – it is perfectly OK to pick out a guy who is alone or standing with a group of guys and single him out.  “Hey, want to dance?”  Don’t be afraid of rejection.  If he says no, on to the next one!  Maybe he can’t dance or maybe he has a girlfriend.  Nothing lost, but you were bold and took the initiative!  And if he says yes, great!  Just dance and let him do the talking.  You don’t need to do anything else but dance.  If he is interested, he will do the rest.

Wherever you are going tonight to celebrate, have FUN!  Dance with five guys, even if you have to ask them.  Talk to at least one guy in depth about his year and future plans for the New Year.

Decide for yourself that this coming year will be different for your love life and set out to make it happen!

Join us for a Flirt Night in 2015 to become a pro at flirting and meeting new men!  Click HERE for more info.

Happy Dating!

Still looking for The One? Contact me today!
photo
Kiki Strickland
Matchmaker & Dating Coach
 
“Country’s Top Matchmaker!” – EBONY Magazine

Holiday Survival Guide Part 2 & 3

Hi Singles!  I have THREE (3) podcasts for you for FREE – their links are in this blog!

Did you catch part 2 of my Holiday Survival Guide for Singles on “Dating Talk with Kiki Strickland?”  Listen here. (1)

This one was for singles who are not seeing someone.  November and December are the most popular months for engagements.  It is also the time that people get the most depressed.  I’ve heard of women buying themselves a fake engagement ring just to keep their families from hounding them AGAIN about why they aren’t married.  I’ve heard of women making up international boyfriends, military boyfriends –“we met online and he’s in Iraq fighting for our country,” etc.  Or some singles stay in a bad relationship or continue to date someone they don’t really like JUST so they won’t be alone for the holidays.

No, no, no!

Instead of wallowing in the holiday blues, use this time to do something for yourself!

  • Set goals for next year and start implementing the steps. 
  • Be Santa for your family/friends – come up with some great or much-needed gifts for others.  Do it anonymously and watch them light up when they tell you about their Secret Santa.
  • Mingle with other singles (more on that in part 3)
  • Enjoy family and friends.  Choose to spend time with people who are fun, outgoing and love life!
  • Have your OWN holiday party! – invite all the other single people you know that will be around and make it a FUN time.
  • Give back – do a community service project, feed the homeless, volunteer at a shelter or nursing home, organize a clothing/food drive – get out of yourself and GIVE!

If you have more serious issues during the holidays, check out my interview with Avalaura Gaither Beharry from Avalaura’s Healing Center to hear Avalaura’s tips on dealing with depression or Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) here. (2)

Seasonal Affective Disorder is a type of depression that occurs at a certain time of the year, usually in the winter.

I continued on with Holiday Survival for Singles last Saturday, only this time it was for singles who want to USE the holidays to meet someone.  Whether you are traveling home or staying in town, click this link (3) to hear tips on how to make the holidays a time to meet more potentials, have fun and reconnect with former friends.

“Dating Talk with Kiki Strickland” airs on blogtalkradio.com at 9AM on Saturday mornings.  Subscribe at this link.

I hope these podcasts are helpful in creating wonderful and fun holidays for you as you search for your Mr. Right.

Stay tuned for more topics on dating and relationships from the Matchmaker & Dating Coach in December!

Happy Dating!

 

Still looking for The One? Contact me today!

 Kiki Strickland, Matchmaker & Dating Coach

www.kikistrickland.com

FACEBOOK: www.facebook.com/divamatchmaker

Twitter@DivaMatchmaker

 

Holiday Survival Guide Part 1

Woman Pulling Ribbon on Christmas Gift

Last Saturday I began my Holiday Survival Guide for singles on “Dating Talk with Kiki Strickland.”  Listen here.

That one was for singles who are seeing someone or in a new relationship (I also added a few tips also for those dating a while).  I covered questions like should you get him a gift or invite him to your family’s Thanksgiving dinner if you have only been seeing each other a few months?

One thing I forgot to say is that if you have been dating a while, like a year or so, do not let other people’s comments about engagement get to you.   For instance, well-meaning coworkers or friends may say things like, “I wonder what YOU are getting for Christmas?  Possibly a RING???”

Or worse, they may grab your hand when you come back from Thanksgiving, checking to see if he put a ring on it.

People do not realize that that type of comment or question can be embarrassing for you.  Don’t let it bother you or cause you to wonder/hope/dream that it will happen.  If you two have not talked about engagement or moving forward, do not let the fantasies take over in your mind just because someone outside of your relationship suggested it may happen.  They are not a part of your relationship.  They may be stirring up a false hope.   I have seen it cause resentment in women when their guy does not propose, or even arguments or her pulling away.  The guy is usually clueless as to why.  He does not know that other females (males do not usually make these kinds of comments) have put thoughts of a ring into her head.

Brush off those comments of others and enjoy the holidays with your guy.

Of course, if it HAS been a couple of years of dating and you ARE wondering if you two will move forward, you may want to purchase a podcast I did on “Getting to Engagement” so that you can be sure it is coming.  You do not want several years to go by with the two of you still just dating.

I’m continuing on with Holiday survival for singles this Saturday only this time it will be for singles who are NOT seeing anyone right now.  I will talk about how to handle family questions about your love life (or lack thereof) and avoiding the holiday blues.

“Dating Talk with Kiki Strickland” airs on BlogTalkRadio.com at 9AM on Saturday mornings.  Subscribe at this link.

Happy Dating!

Still looking for The One? Contact me today!
Kiki Strickland, Matchmaker & Dating Coach
Helping you find the LOVE you’ve always dreamed of.
202-718-7797
BlogTalk Radio: ” Dating Talk with Kiki Strickland”
 
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