You’re CRAZY to Date Him #2


This is the second installment of my new series, “You’re Crazy to Date Him!”  (Note, I am not calling any of you mentally unstable.  I am saying that it is temporary insanity to continue in this behavior).

Did you watch the new Lifetime movie on the life of Michel’le?  “Surviving Compton: Dre, Suge & Michel’le,” is the story of R&B singer Michel’le and her rise to fame.  I only was able to watch the first hour before having to go to an event, but what I saw had me boiling!

Why do we stay with a man who looks at us with hatred and hits us like we’re a man?

Even though I saw a family member go through something similar, I never understood it.  I saw her struggles and told myself at the tender age of 10 years old that no one would EVER treat me badly like that.  And no one ever has.

Michel’le stayed with Dre, and then went on to another relationship with Suge Knight that was also somewhat abusive.  Her own mother had a warped view of love and had told her when she was young that men hit because they love.  Young and confused about love, Michel’le said that she actually believed that the more he hit her, the more it meant he loved her.

That is a sad story!  Let me just make it clear:  that is hogwash!

You are CRAZY to stay with a man that puts his hands on you, hits you or hurts you in any way.  I know that sounds harsh and not politically correct to say.  But really, your self-esteem needs a major overhaul if you would allow that.  No one has the right to hit you.   You should not allow someone to hurt you.

The movie made me so mad.  I watched in horror at the abuse she suffered at the hands of her ‘boyfriend’ Dre.  There is something mentally wrong with a man that thinks it is OK to beat up a woman, especially one he is supposed to love.  He is definitely crazy, demented and more.  I think men who abuse need therapy AND jail time.  Assault charges can carry significant jail time in some cases.

What is Assault under Maryland Law?
Assault is the attempted touching of another person, without that person’s consent, and includes the act of placing someone in fear of an intentional touching. Battery is the unlawful and offensive touching of another person without that person’s consent.  Under Maryland law, an “Assault” encompasses the crimes of assault, battery, and assault and battery.  From

Beating/hitting someone is a CRIME!  It is against the law.  A crime has been committed against you.

Michel’le said that based on what she saw and was taught growing up, when Dre beat her up for the first time, she was terrified and GRATEFUL because she thought it meant he really loved her.

I believe both people in an abusive relationship need to get counseling/therapy.  And those in their lives probably need to be a part of a support group for the abused and their families.

If the man you are seeing belittles you in any way, makes you feel less than, ridicules you, talks down to you or calls you names, or hits, pushes, kicks or in any way physically harms you, LEAVE HIM.  Immediately.  If you keep going back to or staying with someone who continues to beat you up, you are CONSENTING to being assaulted and abused.  You are telling the person it is OK to do that to you.  You must stand up for yourself.  Get help and leave!

Nor should you hit anyone.   If you are hitting a man, he is crazy to stay with YOU.  You both have issues and need counseling.

I think back to the whole Ray Rice story and his fiance being knocked out by him in the elevator that time.  And if that was an incident made public because of the elevator cameras, just think of all the incidents that they must have had that were not made public.  I do not believe these incidents are one-time events.  If a man hits you once, it very likely that it will continue unless you get help.

I believe they are still together and about to have a baby.

I hope they are both getting the help they need.

Ray and Janay Riceray-rice

To read more about the Michel’le story:

Have you ever been afraid of a man you were dating?  Did you ever stay in a relationship that felt scary or unhealthy?  Has a man ever hit you or threatened to?  Leave your comments below if you want to share.

As featured in EBONY Magazine
Kiki Strickland

“Married in 2 Years or Less” Dating Coach

p: 202-718-7797 a: 1629 K St NW Suite 300 Washington, DC 20006

If you want to be married in the next two years, contact me today!