As a dating coach I am often sent questions about specific love life situations that women are going through. I have decided to post some of those here in my blog because I realize that many of YOU are going through similar issues. I have changed the names* to protect the identities of the parties involved. Feel free to comment below if any of these situations resonate with you.
Question from Jen*
Hi there ma’am. I’m Jen, 18yrs old from Philippines. I have read some of your articles while I was browsing in google. Like, how to get over his past. It was really a big help for me. It helped me to overcome my insecurities with his ex girlfriend. Thank you for that. Since before having relationship with him, I promise to myself that I want to be the right girlfriend for him. But eventually, I’m really getting worse and worse. I’m becoming possessive and it’s really hard for me to cure it. I always want to prove him that I can change my possessiveness to be a more loving girlfriend, but I always fail. I really need someone to give me advise. I do really love him, and I dont want to lose him.
Whenever, he’s talking to other girls, like his classmates, schoolmates, or friends, i always feel like i want to punch those girls in the face. I know it’s really mean to do. I think i also have problem with self-esteem. Sometimes we even argue because of small things, or I even start fight with non sense things. Please help me. I want to be a better girlfriend for him.
Kiki: Hi Jen! Thanks for the email. Yes, it does sound like it is your own insecurity that is getting in your way of a good relationship. If you have no reason to suspect him of cheating or doing anything wrong with these women, be confident that he has chosen YOU as his girlfriend and allow him the space to have friendships with others. It is a hard thing to do when you fear someone else can take him away from you. But since that has not happened, it is unfounded and just a distraction to keep you from being happy. Don’t let it!
I think you should also talk to someone about your jealousy issues. You should not want to fight a woman just because she is talking to your guy. There is a self-esteem issue, just like you suspected, and you can get help for that from a therapist or counselor. Why are you insecure? Why is your self-esteem low? There are reasons and you must address those in order to begin to see your own self-worth and become more confident in who you are and your ability to attract and keep a good man. You are only 18 – you have plenty of time to work on yourself and your confidence. We can do a few sessions together to start heading you in the right direction. Contact me at email@example.com for more info.