Unfortunately for some of us ladies (I say myself too because I have been there and done that as well), we seem to play the fool at times. If a man is interested in you, HE WILL LET YOU KNOW. Don’t be a glutton for punishment. If he has shown no interest in you, stop chasing him. In fact, don’t chase ANY guy. Men know how to pursue women – when they really want them.
Once I was really infatuated with a guy I met (well, actually I didn’t even meet him – I just SAW him and was smitten). He was at a book club meeting with me, and the minute he walked through the front door, my insides just stood up and locked in on him. I had never had such a physical reaction to a guy. I thought he was gorgeous and sexy.
When he made a comment during the meeting, I was impressed with his intelligence. That was a surprise because I had been thinking that a guy THAT cute was probably dumb. Anyway, I didn’t officially meet him that night. There was no introduction. Not that I didn’t try. I saw him go into the kitchen to get food, so I followed. I casually (probably not so casually) said hello. He didn’t even glance my way. I don’t think he knew I was talking to him. Later some of the group stayed around playing board games and I saw he was staying and considered trying to stay myself, but I think I had a ridden with someone and had to go. Bummer!
I thought about him that night and all next day. Then I had a brilliant idea! I realized that since we were in the same book club, he must be on the book club email list. I only knew his first name but yes! I was able to pick his name out of the email list. Now I had his name! Woo hoo!
I thought about what I could do to get in touch with him. I came up with another brilliant idea. I could ask him to share the book with me.
So I sent him an email saying we were in the club together and asking if he had already gotten the book. If so, was he willing to share it with me and split the cost? (Mind you the book was probably like $10 so he probably thought I was crazy. And I was!)
So you all can probably see where this is going and how it is going to end. Not well!
He actually was nice and agreed to share the book with me. I tried to set up a time to meet up with him get it from him but he suggested he just mail it to me.
Mail? I was disappointed, of course.
And that is pretty much how things continued to go from there for a long while. I would actually call him up and try to chat with him like he was a friend. He was polite, but not too friendly. He didn’t know me from Eve and obviously was not interested. Did that stop me? No!
I even got up the nerve to ask him to join me at an artist reception (I thought he would be interested in something like that). He politely declined. That really should have been my clue. Well, not really – I should have gotten a clue day one!
But I still kept trying. I remember hanging up after one phone conversation with him and breaking down in tears. I could totally tell that he was losing his patience with my stalking him and it hurt.
Why was I playing the fool? Why didn’t I know back then that men pursue YOU if they are interested? You do not have to stalk them. You do not have to come up with ways to be near them when they like you.
There is more, but I will share it another day.
Just take heed. If you are currently trying to make something happen with a guy – DON’T! Just LET IT GO. STOP! Now.
Don’t continue to play the fool.
Read more in my ebook, HOW DIVAS DATE, which I wrote long after this experience! I even have a chapter called “Divas Don’t Pursue Men.” This ebook is available in my web store.
And it’s the same with online dating. Join me on Thursday, November 12 at my office for a FREE seminar on Success at Online Dating and how to make it finally work for you! 6:30PM. CLICK HERE for more info.