Don’t eliminate guys too soon!

So you went out with a guy once.  Maybe twice.  And you are thinking, “Meh…nothing much going on here.  I think I will let him know I am not interested in pursuing anything but a friendship.”


I see women eliminating guys from their ‘lineup’ way to soon.  You don’t even know him really yet, but you have already decided he just can’t be The One?  Based on what?  Not feeling sparks?  No fireworks?  Something he didn’t do?

Men don’t date the way that we do.  They will date multiple women at the same time (nothing wrong with that) and not drop ANY OF THEM until they decide they want to see one exclusively.  But for some reason, we women think that if we are not head-over-heels in love with him by date two, we have to stop seeing him.

“But I don’t want to lead him on,” you say.

Accepting another date is not leading him on.  He is not in love with you.  He hasn’t declared his undying devotion to you because he has asked for another date.  He is just giving it a try.  He is still seeing what else is out there.  He may be seeing five other ladies, too.   Don’t think you are the only one that he is seeing (unless of course he has told you this and confessed his undying love!).  Dating is casual and you do not have to stop seeing him because you are getting an inkling that you are not ready to swoon yet.

If you are enjoying his company and having a good time with him, keep going out with him!

I say this because I know for myself that I almost missed out on my own love.  I wasn’t feeling fireworks in the beginning, and I told one of my girlfriends that the first date was going to be the last.  Fortunately for me I changed my mind.  I was having fun so I did not stop.

Then I fell for him after I got to know him a lot better.  He was persistent, and that helped, too.

So ladies, stop only giving a guy one or two dates.  Make it at least THREE if you don’t see any red flags and are enjoying his company.  Stop looking for signs that you could marry him or that he could be The One.  Just think about how you feel when you are with him, how he is treating you and whether or not you are having fun.

If so, and if he asks for another date – GO!

Stop talking yourself out of a relationship.  Stop sabotaging yourself.  Ride it out.   You don’t have to know TODAY if you could marry him.  Just keep getting to know him for now.

We will talk about this more at my DC DATING SUMMIT when Tariiq Omari Walton joins us to talk about his book, It’s Just a Damn Date!

Join us in January for the DC DATING SUMMIT!  Details coming soon.

Do you want to be married in two years or less? Contact me today!
As Seen In EBONY Magazine
Kiki Strickland
Matchmaker & Dating Coach

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