Match His Level of Interest

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In the world of dating, I see women making many mistakes.  A major one is to get ahead of the guy in the relationship.  You are already acting like his girlfriend, expecting him to do things like he is your man, and you get upset if he isn’t.  You are being impatient.  Don’t get invested in him or the relationship (there isn’t one yet!) until he is invested.  If he is only casually interested in you, be casually interested in him.  If he only calls you once a week, respond once a week.
Do not put the cart before the horse, as they say.  Nor should you put all your eggs in one basket.  Sometimes the reason you are so enamored and impatient about him is because he is the only one you are seeing.  Date other men!  Do not become focused on one man unless/until he has made it clear (by a conversation with you) that he is focusing only on you.  Until then, assume he is also dating other women.  And you should date other men!
Gone are the days when singles focused only on one person at a time in dating – only going out with one person for a few months (trying it out) then moving on and focusing on another person a few months.   NO!  You should be getting to know SEVERAL different guys, casually.  It is OK to go out with Mark on Friday and Rick on Saturday.  You are not invested in either of them and you are not sleeping with them either!  That would be a huge mistake.
Let the guy set the pace, within reason, of course.  If he is moving too fast and you don’t want him to, by all means, slow it down.  But also if he is as slow as molasses, go with the flow, if he is someone you think you like.   You can do this when you have others to date and when your heart is not invested yet.
The last thing you want to do is to be sharing him sexually with another woman!  That is unsafe.
So unless he has brought up exclusivity with only you, he is NOT your man and you are not his woman.  Stay out of his bedroom!
And if he is just calling sometimes or taking you out once a month, be content with that and enjoy it – since he is NOT your man yet.  He obviously has some interest in you or he wouldn’t be taking you out monthly.   Let him go at his own pace…but do your own thing, too, until it becomes more.
Happy Dating!
If you need help with your love life, sign up for a FREE 15 minute consultation with Kiki Strickland at
Kiki Strickland
Matchmaker & Dating Coach

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