Is anyone in a long distance relationship? I found some good tips!
7 Long-Distance Relationship Tips Inspired By The Movie “Like Crazy”
1. Establish ground rules from the start. “Like Crazy”‘s Jacob and Anna were ripped apart without warning so there wasn’t an opportunity for them to sit down in person and discuss the terms of their arrangement. But whether it’s by phone, email, or, better yet, Skype, you and your mate must openly communicate about and mutually agree upon the ground rules and terms of your relationship. “Openly discuss topics such as whether to remain monogamous or not when apart, how often to communicate and how often to visit,” says DeAnna Lorraine, a San Diego-based dating coach. Do not assume anything, and leave nothing up in the air. “When there are no misunderstandings or bad feelings, both partners are on the same page, which is the formula for a strong bond,” she asserts.
2. Discuss a mutually agreed-upon end goal for your relationship. In order for a long-distance relationship to survive, Lorraine says that both parties need to feel that there is a light at the end of the tunnel, so to speak. Unfortunately for them, Anna and Jacob are left with fewer options as a result of her visa issues, while Jacob’s booming career makes relocating to London not ideal. But discussing those options — even the less ideal ones — is something every couple in an LDR needs to do. “Whether it’s that one or both parties will relocate after your separation, that you’ll be seeing each other exclusively afterwards or that at the end of your separation you’ll get married, having something you can both look forward to when the going gets tough will remind you both why you’re involved in a challenging situation,” she says. When setting your end goal, make sure it’s one you both understand and on which you both agree. “Never establish an end goal thinking or hoping that you will change your partner’s mind along the way,” she warns. “Thinking or hoping your partner will move back or propose, for example, only sets you up for disappointment and resentful feelings.”
3. Avoid excessive communicating. While speaking to your partner every day may feel like the best way to stay close, Lorraine actually cautions against such frequent chat-fests. “I recommend having only one scheduled hour (or longer) phone call a week,” she explains. “By doing this, you’ll have more exciting updates to share and you’ll be much more excited and enthusiastic to talk to each other because you’ve been anticipating that phone date all week.” If one hour a week sounds too little to comprehend — and, if we’re being honest, it does to us! — at the very least try giving yourself a day in between calls. Less-frequent communication will not only keep you from growing dependent on each other, but also will provide you both with the freedom to grow independently and have your own lives and hobbies.
The other tips:
4. Alternate visits on each other’s turfs.
5. Raise your trust level significantly.
6. Keep it sexy and spicy.
7. Live your life!