Summer Flings, Part 1

Ok, so you haven’t had a boyfriend/girlfriend in a while and summer is coming – how about a fling? 

The definition of fling is

                                         a short period of unrestrained pursuit of one’s wishes or desires: The week of partying was my last fling before starting a new job.

I’m not talking about a sexual tryst with someone over the summer.  Not at all!  I’m talking about a casual, easy-going time with a member of the opposite sex during the summer months that you know is probably not going to lead to a real relationship.   Not that it can’t, but you are not attached to the idea of it becoming so.  It’s more like practice and just for fun!  A summer fling is usually just dating during the summer months and usually with someone that you won’t even be able to see beyond that time (i.e. while you are at a vacation spot, visiting family, at a retreat or conference, or while they are!).

In fact, I really mean a Summer FRIEND.

I think it is perfectly fine to spend time during this summer hanging out with a ‘friend’ that is fun and you enjoy spending time with, with no real attachment.  Some of you need the practice!  Some need to work on your dating skills.  And some of you women just need to remember what it feels like to be wined and dined!

So how can you find your summer fling?


Be open to those that are not your usual TYPE.

Hey, so he doesn’t look like your Denzel fantasy man.  She’s not Halle Berry.  But he/she is kind of cute and seems to have a great personality!  That’s the one.  Go for it!


Pick someone that is just visiting or at your vacation spot

Again, a fling is temporary, so it is great that the person isn’t a neighbor or coworker, or even someone that will be around after the summer is over.  If you are the one on vacation, even better, since you’ll leave and don’t have to ever return if you don’t want.


Practice Flirting

If you’ve read my “How Divas Date” eBook, you know I think women should not be aggressive flirts, but in this case – go for it!  For a summer fling, you can do all the flirting you want.  Practice, practice, practice!  See who is receptive and is flirting back!  That’s how you can pick him/her out.  He/she who returns your interest can be your summer fling.  All you need is a willing participant who you find interesting and enjoys some activities that you do.


–         It should not be someone you already know well (they may already have an attachment to you and want more)

–         It should not be someone that wants a long-term relationship (something beyond summer)

–         Let the person know upfront that you are just looking to hang out while he/she or you are there.  Nothing serious.  Just FRIENDS.

If the person is still interested, and OK with summer ‘hanging out’ then you’ve found someone for this summer fling!

Now that you know how to find him/her – the next post will be – how to have a summer fling!


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