Someone forwarded me the blog of Moxie because the post was on who pays for a date and that is a topic that usually comes up in my seminars. Another guy told me about a male dating coach he had used who mentioned bringing up sex early in the conversation to turn a woman on, not off, and to see how a woman responds to you.
I bring these two things up because after reading both of these “coaches” blogs, I wondered who is actually taking/using their advice. I hope not my clients!
Moxie said there are NO rules when it comes to dating these days and what you were taught in the past is not so anymore. And the other guy gave a couple of ways to bring up sex within the first twenty minutes of meeting a woman. Obviously these two are not using WISE counsel.
Yes, things might have changed a lot over time, but that does not mean it has been for the better, or that we as CHRISTIAN singles should be following them. There is a scripture that directs us not to be conformed to the world, and where dating is concerned – we certainly need to follow that advice!
Men, if you bring up sex at all – we will think you are a carnal Christian (possibly not even a Christian at all!) and not worthy of our time. Seriously. I’ve had guys try to ask me personal questions in that area or bring up a story about one of their ‘friends’ just to see how I would respond. And guess how I responded? NEXT! He was no longer on my list of potentials. He showed me up front what he was about, and I was glad that I didn’t have to waste any more time wondering if he had potential. No. NEXT!
And about that who pays for a date question. When and how did that even become a question? With internet dating, I guess, as women began to suggest getting together before the man did and they wondered since she invited him, should she pay?
I would say, you shouldn’t have invited him out before he invited you, then you wouldn’t need to ask the question. If he wanted to take you out, he would ask you. If he has made his interest clear and asked you out and later you want to treat him to something, great. You make that clear. But there shouldn’t be any question about who is paying and whether this is a date or not, etc.
If women were not doing the chasing and pursuing, there wouldn’t be a need for that question.
If the man is the pursuer, the head of the relationship, and being led by God in his wooing you, I think there would be no need for these two topics (nor those two coaches!).
So singles, be careful about whose counsel (or blogs and advice columns) you are reading/taking. The world has its view, but it should not be yours.