Came across this old post (originally from 2006) from a Love Guru in Los Angeles named Lauren Frances. Her book on “Manhandling,” which I haven’t read yet, teaches women how to flirt and more importantly how to understand men. The funny thing is, I had a conversation with a guy a few weeks ago and he was saying this exact same thing – that men have groups of women in rotation with different functions, just like a first string and a second string. So pay attention to the below. Which one are you?
The Male String Theory of Dating
by Lauren Frances
What’s Good for the Goose Is Good for the Gander!
The worst thing a woman can do when looking for the relationship she truly desires is to prematurely take herself off the market simply because “someone likes her” (otherwise known as the One-at-a-Time Man Plan). This misstep is a genetic holdover from the millions of years that girls spent picking blueberries on the tundra. It makes them want quickly give up the hunt and become “instantaneously monogamous” to a viable suitor once found.
The problem is that most men like to date women exactly the other way around.
MANFACT: Men, even the men that you think are really nice guys, like architects, believe that it’s not only normal, but actually preferable to have several sexual options (women) waiting for them in the wings. Men don’t think that this approach is wrong if they haven’t stepped up and made a verbal commitment to any, some, or all of these women. Maybe they have a point! On the contrary, most men subscribe to the Male String Theory of Dating.
The Male String Theory of Dating.
Boys were learning much more than teamwork in Little League. They also learned the value of rotating the talent. When boys grow up and become men, they’ll apply this principle to their love lives too. It’s ingenious when you understand how it works….
Single males have their starting lineup of MVPs, then Second String Girls, who like him just a little more than he likes them, and finally his Romantic Replacements, who are kept in a holding pattern and waiting for him on the bench.
His MVPs are usually women he thinks he’ll have mind-blowing sex with. The rest are put into romantic rotation.
And believe me, men don’t feel one shred of guilt about it because, after all, they’re not married, so they don’t have to act like they are. Maybe they have a point!
The Male String Theory of Dating hinges upon the: “If you’re dumb enough not to ask me, I’m not going to be stupid enough to tell you” policy.
Sidebar: It’s amazing that women don’t ask the men they’re sleeping with if they’re currently sexually involved with other women, and how many. If you did, you’d probably be shocked by the answer. Romantic Rule: It’s not prying or rude to ask the men that your sleeping with about the competition you’re up against, and finding out the real odds of contracting STDs–or commitments- from them!
If he isn’t “the one,” he’s just holding up traffic.
Please put your hand over your heart, slip into your sexiest stiletto’s, and repeat The Romantic Researchers Hippocratic oath after me:
I vow to never again give the precious gift of my exclusivity to any man, no matter how rich or how hot, until he steps up and offers me the kind of relationship that I truly want. Until then, I will be free to fly at the apex of my own flock of suitors. They’ll naturally fall into a pecking order over time, until one day I notice that someone has been happily flying right beside me, with no intention of flying south without me and I’ll have found my Lovebird after all!
Lauren Frances, November 2006 for The Huffington Post