Came across a male relationship coach’s blog today. His name was not listed, but here is his post and my comment:
Oct. 26th, 2010
Since I have started this service, I have come across many of my female members who are great catches. We engage into small talk often times and I find that they are definitely looking for a committed relationship. Many of them date frequently but the outcome is that it never pans out, usually because the men they are really interested in is not willing to commit. I understand that just dating can get frustrating when one is looking for a committed relationship but on the other hand, I have been one of those men only interested in dating and not looking for a serious relationship. I’m not going to proclaim that what I am saying applies for all men but I will tell you some of the reasons why and why I would not commit to a woman. Hopefully this sheds some light on this frustrating epidemic of men choosing to continue playing the field instead of committing to a relationship.
Timing Just May Not Be Good
If a man just got out of a serious relationship, more likely he is not going to be willing to hop right back into another relationship, no matter how great the women he’s dealing with is.
He May Just Want Sex From You
Most men can separate sex from emotions. It’s just an activity to us so we may find you as someone great to have sex with you but we have no intention of anything further. So when you ask us what are our intentions and we reply with “I’m just trying to chill and have fun.” That means just that. We enjoy having sex with you and committing to you is not on our mind.
Competition May Be Stiff
Nobody is naïve to the fact that men, especially men of quality, will juggle more than one woman when just dating. Just being real with you, some men even do it when in a committed relationship but we not going to jump into all that here. But it’s true that men will deal with several women and have some interest in each one either it be for the fact that the woman is cool to chill with, sex is good, or he may just be the type that always wants a woman around. Men like variety so often times, we keep a roster (yes I referred to it as a roster! Lol) of women to accommodate our many various wants that cannot be fulfilled by just one woman.
With all this being said, I still haven’t addressed how can a woman get a man to commit. Well I did not address it because it’s my opinion that a man committing to a woman has nothing to do with then woman and all to do with him. A lot of times women think they can change the way they act, give him the goods, buy him gifts, or even cut off their friends and invest all their time to get him to commit. Well I know for myself that there has been nothing a woman can do. When I made the decision to commit, its was because I knew I wanted to and was ready. She did not have to beg me, better yet, did not have to ask. I took the initiative. That’s my take on it. There are plenty of men willing to commit so my advice is to stay optimistic and stay active. Women, don’t put yourself out here trying to influence a man to do something that is not in his heart.
Well enough about what I think. What do you think?
You raise a good point here about sex. Any smart, commitment-minded woman reading this will realize they should NOT be having sex with a guy who has not committed to them. If you have already given him your body without knowing where you stand, why would he commit? You could be one of five that is having sex with him. You could just be a number.
As it says here, “It’s just an activity to us so we may find you as someone great to have sex with you but we have no intention of anything further.”
The man will most likely commit to the woman who is NOT having sex with him, the one that knows she is worth a commitment before giving herself entirely. Take heed, ladies!