The Black Woman’s Plight

Anyone who reads this blog is welcome to share your thoughts on the following YouTube spoof on the way some black women think about men and dating.  Let’s hear it!  Watch the below link and leave your comments:

Black Marriage Negotiations: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mgyg8vEHraE

My response:

A lot of women do feel like they are entitled to a man they consider the ‘Cream of the Crop’ because they feel they are exactly that themselves.  The Cream of the Crop.  This means they (feel they) have done everything right in life: gotten a degree or two, stayed out of trouble, make good money for themselves, own a home, etc.  And for them, the counterpart Cream is a 6’5, well-paid, compassionate and giving gentleman who is FINE and sexy yet loves his mother and gives back to the community. 

And yes, there may be a man sitting right there in front of her, willing to put up with her nonsense, including what she thinks she needs to have (which he knows probably doesn’t exist), whom she totally ignores and doesn’t see as a potential husband because he is missing a couple of things on her list.  I love how the guy in this skit does not argue with her, just points out the flawed thinking, knowing she is not even listening to him at all. Then at the end he is still willing to date her!  Seems to be accurate since men are not looking for perfection, know we have lots of flaws, and are willing to accept them.  But of course, she declines!  She continues to look for the perfect man, who doesn’t exist, while complaining there are no ‘good’ men out there (or the ones that are are dating outside the race).

Yes, we are a self-centered and self-focused legion of ladies these days and we wonder why we are still alone when we have it ‘going on’.  But the other thing could be in play is that women are subconsciously setting the standard so high so that they never have to deal with a real, live, breathing, flawed man.  They’d rather hold up a fantasy man that doesn’t exist than:

1)      admit that they could have tried to make it work with the last boyfriend they had, if they had the skills to,

2)       they don’t really know what they are doing in a relationship,

3)      and they are afraid that no man is really going to stay with them. 

They make it impossible to find someone to love because down deep they do not really BELIEVE in love.  They are afraid of men, of the reality of a relationship,  have failed horribly at all their previous attempts, and now hide behind the convenient thought that no man is worthy enough for them.  It is easier to believe that than to face the truth.

We also can’t leave out the influence of entertainment, which is strictly that (entertainment) but incorrectly seen as more – as instruction or an example of the way things should go.  Movies and novels have set women up to think that prince charming (Denzel in our case) does exist and is coming to sweep them off their feet.  In most movies the finding of this man and securing him is the entire movie.  There is no time to see his flaws or see how the relationship really plays out or develops.  Thus, women are constantly in the chase/looking mode and wouldn’t even know what to do after finding him.

I’m one that believes relationship skills should be taught in school, like Sex Ed and Home Economics used to be.  At the very least, churches should take up the charge and offer classes regularly regarding relationships of all types, including romantic.

What say you?

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