Using Football to Meet Men

Are you Ready for some FOOTBALL!!!football girl

Football season has started (the pre-season that is) and the sports bars and restaurants have started to fill up!  Ladies, this is a prime opportunity to meet some new guys.  Men LOVE sports, especially football, so why not start visiting some of these venues that are showing the game?  There are usually several men sitting at the bar or nearby high tables enjoying the action.   They are in a good mood (hopefully their team is winning!), they are friendly and looking to talk a little trash.

You should be there!  But you should also know a little bit about football first.  Being clueless and clapping while the opposing team is scoring is a No No (unless you are a fan of the other team).  It is easy to get a little knowledge about the game before heading out in your favorite jersey and joining the bar stools of die-hard fans.

If you are in DC, join us on Thursday, August 21 for the Cliff’s Notes on Football for only $10 with me and my meetup groups.  We will be discussing the basics of the game so you know what is going on while watching.  You can also read up on football on wikipedia or NFL.com on your own, of course.  But get SOME knowledge if you don’t know anything about the game.

What if you are actually there AT the game? Some men like to ATTEND games and will be happy to have you join them.  What if you are invited as a date?  Would you go?  YES! You should! Even if you don’t really care for the game, it is a nice outing and fun to be there in person.

Football can be complicated for some of us, but here are some basic things you should know to enjoy the game if you are at a live game (your man may have season tickets!) and you are not very familiar with football.

THE BASIC GOAL OF EACH PLAY

To simplify what is happening, the goal is to get at least 10 yards with the ball (and the players have 4 chances to do this).  If they get 10 yards, they get another 4 chances.  If they don’t get 10 yards, it’s the other team’s turn to try.

FOLLOW YOUR MAN’S LEAD

When I started going to the Redskins games with my then boyfriend/now husband, I often didn’t even know WHERE the ball was!  It all happened so fast, the play was over before I knew what happened.  That is OK.  Just follow the lead of your man.  If he cheers, you cheer.  If he complains, you complain.  Or say, “I know, right?” or “That’s crazy!”

Asking questions is OK but only if nothing is happening on the field.  If the players are moving, be quiet.

THE REPLAY WILL SHOW WHAT HAPPENED

If you miss something, just wait until the REPLAY on the screen shows a close up of the play.  No need to say much until then.  Then you can comment on it, i.e. “That was CLEARLY a touchdown!”

LOOK FOR THE TEXT DISPLAY

It took me a long while to realize that everything the announcer said about the play was showing up in a little display in the stands.  For instance, right after it happens, you can read an exact account of the play:  “Pass intended for Helu incomplete.”   Or “That was Roy Helu for a gain of six yards!”  So as long as you are watching the text on that display screen, you will know what happened.

THERE ARE DIFFERENT TEAMS FOR DIFFERENT PLAYS

Yes, they are all on one team, but you may see one set of your team’s players running off the field and another set running on.  What is going on?  Another unit/team is coming out to run a different type of play.  There is the offensive unit, defensive unit and special teams (for kicking plays).  Think of it like different department handling different parts of the game.

There is a LOT more you need to know to have even a basic understanding of the game, so join us for “Football Basics for Women” on August 21 in Chinatown, DC.  Contact me at info@kikistrickland.com to sign up.

Or read up on ‘American Football’ on Wikipedia or go to NFL.com.

Also join us for a Monday Night Flirt Night – details coming soon!

Happy Dating!

Kiki Strickland

http://www.kikistrickland.com

Kiki Strickland is a Matchmaker and certified Dating Coach who is passionate about helping smart, successful singles who have a difficult time finding and keeping love.   Her private coaching sessions and dating seminars are all about providing love life solutions to singles who desire to be married.  Through her Flirt Nights, “Meeting Mr. Right” classes, Love Attraction Retreats and more, Kiki is helping singles find love and the relationship they have dreamed of.

Lending Money to Your Man?

peoples court
Ever watch Judge Mathis, Judge Judy or the People’s Court?  A surprising amount of the cases are old flames suing the ex for a sum of money they either loaned them, are out of as a result of something they did, or an instance where they cosigned for a major purchase.  Sometimes even credit cards have been taken out on behalf of the love interest and now the person is trying to recuperate paying for someone else’s debt.

It never works out well unless there was a promissory note signed or agreement to repay.

Here is how it goes:

“Judge, the defendant owes me $800 for the cell phone bill that we had to put it in my name because his credit is bad.”

or

“I gave him $1000 toward the purchase of his car when his broke down and he had no way to get to work.  He promised he would pay me $100 a month until he paid off the loan.”

Judge asks: “Do you have a promissory note or something in writing where he agreed to pay this back?”

Sometime they do have a promissory note or something in writing, and they WIN!

But usually they do not.  They trusted the person.  And now that they have broken up the person is saying, “That was a gift.”  Or “She was paying me back for all the shoes I bought her – it wasn’t a loan.”  Or “We BOTH used that phone, not just me!”

Unfortunately I have heard stories from single women who are involved with men who ‘fall on hard times’ or somehow get into a financial bind and need to be bailed out.  One such woman is Natasha* who recently appeared on my blogtalk show to talk about her experience with loaning money to a man she was dating.   Because things were going well and seemed to be moving toward marriage, she was open to giving him ‘help’ for the down payment toward a home he was going to purchase.  She even helped him find a realtor and looked at homes with him, thinking they would eventually marry and live in the home together.  Listen to her story here on blogtalk radio.

Should you do it?  If you are falling in love with a man and he needs some cash til payday, what do you do?  What if he is late on his mortgage and needs you to ‘contribute’ since you are always over there anyway?

Many of you are giving, trusting, possibly even naive in your dealings with men.  You want to help.  You are nurturing by nature.  Or you are afraid if you don’t lend him the money, he will leave or break up with you.  Let him!

It is my first thought that a man should never ask a woman for money.  He should get it from his boys, his family, his boss – I don’t care who – but not his woman.  I believe that if he is trying to woo her, he won’t even WANT her to know that he is having financially difficulty.  Lending money – a no no!  But if you are going to do it, definitely get something signed from him that he is going to pay it back.

In my ebook, How Divas Date, I talk about how in a lot of cases it is an older woman dating a younger man that tries to take advantage of her.  Don’t let him!

PROMISSORY NOTE: noun – a signed document containing a written promise to pay a stated sum to a specified person or the bearer at a specified date or on demand.     Dictionary.com

If you cannot get him to sign a promissory note, just give it as a gift.  Don’t expect it back.  But be sure you will not resent not getting it back if he doesn’t even offer to pay it back.

Only “loan” money when it is really a gift and you don’t NEED it back.

If it is going to make you feel he is less than a man or the provider you need, say NO.  He should have other devices to turn to, including his mother/father/brother or best friend.

That being said, this doesn’t mean that if you are making a lot more money than the man you are dating, you cannot pay for the things you want the two of you to do.  For instance, if you are used to travelling and plan to go on a cruise or trip that you know he can’t afford right now, pay for the both of you.  It is what you want and you can afford to do so.  Not a big deal.  Don’t expect him to pay you back (but kudos to him if he tries) and don’t ever throw it up in his face later that he couldn’t go without your help.  This is your treat.  Don’t make him feel bad that his pockets are not as deep as yours.

In the DC area, there are a lot of sisters who are making over six figures and still alone because they think their man is supposed to also be making over six figures.  Well…there just aren’t as many counterparts available.  It is definitely OK to date a working class brother or blue collar man who is about something and treats you well.  Don’t let money be the deciding factor, especially if you have lot already.

But on the flipside, don’t be an ATM for him or anyone.  Not without a signed piece of paper with him agreeing to put those funds back into your account.  (A lot of times if you have an email or a text where the person agrees they owe you, you win your judgement on People’s Court – FYI).

Check out more on this topic Sunday at 5PM on Should You Lend Your Man Money Part 2 on my Blogtalk Radio show.

Happy Dating!

Kiki

http://www.kikistrickland.com

*not her real name

Don’t Be Gone With the Wind!

scarlett ohara2One of my favorite movies is Gone With the Wind.  I was trying to watch it the other day and realized that Scarlet O’Hara was totally like today’s woman – pursuing a guy who didn’t want her and trying to make it work even after he told her to her FACE that it wasn’t going to happen.

Why do we do this, ladies?

One woman told me she was going to “Wait for him.”  By this she meant she expected that one day he would finally realize that she was the one for him (even though she had been sleeping with him for two years without the commitment she wanted).

Scarlet was a hottie and had many pursuers.  The guys were lining up to dance with her, pursue her, even marry her, but she set her sights on Ashley and would not give up the dream.

Rhett was totally in love with her, gave her everything she wanted but her heart just wanted what it wanted – a man who showed her no interest and even married someone else.  Yes, maybe he did it out of family obligation and not love, but he married Melanie nonetheless!

Can we start behaving and acting with our BRAINS instead of our hearts?

The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it? (Jeremiah 17:9 NIV).

Sometime it hurts, but you’ve got to be smart and not stupid.  Men don’t change their minds.  If they say that you are not the One, believe them.  Scarlet knew that Ashley had feelings for her initially, but he still chose not to act on them and married someone else.  When at the end she finally realizes that Ashley does love Melanie, she finally feels free to love Rhett – too late, of course!  But the truth is she should have tried to love Rhett earlier and given up the fantasy of being with someone who married another woman.  Rhett was perfect for her in personality and temperament.  He knew how to handle her and didn’t take too much for her controlling ways.

Why would she keep waiting for a married man?

Unfortunately women do this every day and convince themselves that things will work out for them, not caring about karma, the Word of God, the other woman involved or anyone else.

Karma is a terrible thing.  Even if he left his wife and married you, how could it be any good when it has already been established that you are both cheaters?

It can’t work.

Don’t waste your time and effort on someone who won’t choose you or does not put YOU first.  He is TAKEN!  Let it go!

Think with your brain and act accordingly.

 

Check out my “Wife Material” segment on Blogtalk Radio this Saturday at 8AM on Dating Talk with Kiki Strickland.

Single ladies!  Join my “Married in 2 years or Less” 90-Day program!  New spots open for August now.  Sign up at www.kikistrickland.com

Wife Material

Wedding Photos-497

On Saturday morning my blogtalk show will be about whether or not you are wife material.   All the single ladies that have come to me for love life solutions and dating advice are now on their way to meeting new guys, dating successfully, finding fulfilling relationships and even getting engaged!  I want to talk about the next step – becoming a wife to someone.  Most want to be married yesterday but are you really totally prepared for what comes after “I Do”?

Some think it is all about age.  If you are a certain age, you feel like you are definitely old enough to get married.  And legally you are.  But what about spiritually?  Financially?  Emotionally?

Others are consumed with wedding thoughts.  You are more into dreaming about and planning the actual wedding event, like color schemes, dresses, who your bridesmaids are going to be, what kind of cake you want, or whether you would like a band or DJ.  Maybe you have not seriously considered the marriage part that comes after (except maybe the honeymoon!).

Newly married since Labor Day Weekend of last year, I’d like to share with you some insights and knowledge on marriage that I think you should have, to prepare yourself for the journey ahead, single ladies!  Join me live at 8AM this Saturday on blogtalkradio.com.  You can also listen later in the archives section of my show “Dating Talk with Kiki Strickland.”

See you then!

Kiki

Dating Talk banner

If you are engaged, join me for a pre-marriage workshop

on August 2, 2014 from 5 – 7PM in Washington, DC.

More details at www.kikistrickland.com

Converting for a Guy? Don’t!

Jodi AriasI’m watching the Jodi Arias movie and I’m in shock.  Talk about chasing a guy, LOL.  She totally didn’t understand his religion or his struggle with temptation (her).  She even put him on blast a few times with his Mormon friends, mentioning their sex life.  He told her to her face a few times that he was going to marry a Mormon woman and did not see their ‘relationship’ as long term.  She herself even complained that she was the one driving five hours to see him (long distance relationship) and felt like just a booty call to him.

She was!

She was right.  Yet it didn’t change her actions.

I hope you are not ever in a situation like that.

She wanted him so badly that she got baptized in the Mormon Church to please him, even though he was surprised and it didn’t change his feelings for her at all.  He still did not plan to make her his wife.

She pretended to be OK with a sex-only relationship, even though she wanted to marry him.  She did everything she could, from moving to his city and shopping at the same grocery store so he would run into her ‘accidently’ and trying to make him jealous by sleeping with some random guy and sending him pictures of her with the guy.  Everything totally backfired!

Never chase a man.  He should be the one pursuing you, driving five hours to see you (at least three hours if you are going to drive two to meet him!).  And I dare say even converting to YOUR religion instead of the other way around!  It is a different story if you feel a real conviction about his faith and believe in it and want to embrace it – that is different.  Do it if so.  But you cannot do it to please him.

He is NOT yours if you feel like you are doing all the work.

Jodi’s story is very sad, of course, and ended tragically.  But it didn’t have to be.  Someone should have told Jodi that when a man loves you, you don’t have to pursue him or wonder where the relationship is going.  You don’t have to stalk him to see who he is with or check his phone messages to see who is texting him or move to his area to ‘run into him’ while shopping.  You don’t have to do anything.   You just ‘are’ and he loves you.

And if you feel that you have to do those things, dump him and instead see a therapist or a relationship coach.

 

Join my “Married in 2 years or Less” 90-Day program!  New spots open for August now.

http://www.kikistrickland.com

Happy Hour – WHO ME?

happy hourSometimes I get the impression that some women do not think they can attend a ‘happy hour’ function or even sit at the bar of a restaurant if they are a Christian.  Why do I think that?

Here is how the conversation goes while we are talking about things they are doing to meet people:

“Do you ever attend happy hours?  Do you coworkers or friends go out after work?”

“No!  I don’t drink!”

Somewhere along the way I think people started thinking ‘happy hour’ has to mean you have an alcoholic drink.  While that may have been the intent in the past (why they called it “happy”), I point out to those that never go – YOU DO NOT HAVE TO HAVE A DRINK.

Happy hour prices are available at almost ALL restaurants during the time of rush hour, usually starting at 3 or 4PM and ending around 7 or 8PM.  This means you can have half-priced appetizers at most places, and yes, drinks for a lot less, even pitchers.  Bar Louie is one of my favorite places to do happy hour, as their fabulous-tasting flatbread is only $6 from 4 – 7PM.  Yes, that is half-price, same large size!

So when I say ‘happy hour’ I do not mean a BAR.  I mean a restaurant!

But yes, you should SIT at the BAR at the restaurant!

Quiet as it is kept, everyone at the bar area is not drinking an alcoholic beverage.  Soda is OK.  Water is OK.  Even juice is OK.

Why do I recommend happy hours?  Because people are congregating after 5PM, usually to mingle and meet other people.  And yes, to eat and get something non-alcoholic to drink.  Not everyone drinks alcoholic drinks during the week.  Maybe a Friday night will be more rowdy and full of drunkards (usually not even then, just people unwinding and relaxing, not getting drunk).  Please do not think everyone at a bar area is getting drunk.  It is just not true.

You should be getting out and about regularly.  Why not stop by the local PF Chang or Ruby Tuesdays on a weeknight, if it is a happening spot?  Sit at the bar!

I told one lady to sit at the bar area and you would have thought I told her to go out and fornicate!

It is not that serious, folks.  The bar area is not off limits to Christians.

I’m not sure what she thought.  Maybe that people would think SHE is a drinker/alcoholic?  Or that she was that at the bar to try to meet a man?

Happy Hour is not like that.  People may be waiting for the traffic to die down before heading home.  People may come for the food.  People may be there because they want to socialize a bit.

So what?  It doesn’t matter WHY people are there.  But it is good that people are there because you need to meet people!

Most people sit at the bar because they are by themselves and open to chatting with others around them.  No one is going to come over to a table to chat with you unless they already know you (or unless they are extremely bold!).  But at the bar, everyone is chatting with everyone, including the bartender.  This is a GOOD thing, ladies.

If your coworkers are getting together to hang out for an hour or so after work, GO (unless you don’t like them).  Or go by yourself.  Stop in to a popular place for an hour, have something to eat, smile at a few people, chat with those sitting next to you at the bar and then go home.

You’ll feel better for being PROACTIVE.

And as I always say, you never know who you might meet.

Happy Dating!

Kiki

http://www.kikistrickland.com

A Lesson on Photos

terry-crewsTerry-Crews1

I really like Terry Crews since I started watching reruns of Are We There Yet?  I remember him in a few movies as the thuggish villain, which he plays really well, being so big and as a body builder. He was often the victim of type-casting.   If it wasn’t for Are We There Yet, I wouldn’t have known his softer, handsome, intelligent, good husband side.  I love that a show like this hired him (kudos to Ice Cube!) for the lead male role.

I think this is a good lesson for women who are dating online.  You may have a perception of men who look like Crews’ type that is totally incorrect.  I know I did.  I would not have been open to dating him if I came across him online.

If you saw the first photo (above) of Terry Crews online, would you be open to dating him?  I probably would have said no in the past and not even continued on with the rest of his profile.  The truth is men don’t usually take good photos.  Most of the online dating photos that men put up are terrible.  I know that many of you delete men’s profiles based on their photos and it is a mistake.

Look at these two photos of Crews.  I believe most guys would choose to post the one on top because they think they look cool and sexy if they aren’t smiling.  In fact, they probably think they look soft or cheesy when they smile.  Women, on the other hand, would much prefer the smiling pic here of Crews, right?  You might not even read the profile of a guy looking like his photo on the left.  You think he looks mean (even though he is wearing a suit) and you’ve probably made other assumptions about him – his character, education, income, etc.

The photo underneath looks more comfortable, relaxed, happy, like a nice and fun guy.  Even though he is not wearing a suit he seems to have a lot going for himself.  But you may not even see this photo if you just stopped at the first photo he had up, the one on top.  Or he may not have even posted the second photo of himself, thinking he looked too corny.

I encourage you to stop eliminating guys based on their photos at all.  Read the profile!  (more on profiles later though, since a lot of men just hurriedly put one up).  Give the guy a chance before hitting delete, especially if you are really serious about meeting The One this year.  You may have passed over lots of good guys based on a bad photo or a misconception over how they look (or seem to look).

If you need to meet for online dating help, check out my website at www.kikistrickland.com

PS – check out this photo below.  What perception/opinion do you immediately get when looking at this photo of him?  And why?

WWE And The Creative Coalition's SummerSlam Kickoff Party

PSS – I don’t know Crews at all so really any thoughts I have on him are based on his acting career.  I would have to date him to find out if he is worth dating, just like you will have to talk to a guy to find out if you could like him.  That is the point!  Happy Dating!