Holiday Survival Guide Part 2 & 3

Hi Singles!  I have THREE (3) podcasts for you for FREE – their links are in this blog!

Did you catch part 2 of my Holiday Survival Guide for Singles on “Dating Talk with Kiki Strickland?”  Listen here. (1)

This one was for singles who are not seeing someone.  November and December are the most popular months for engagements.  It is also the time that people get the most depressed.  I’ve heard of women buying themselves a fake engagement ring just to keep their families from hounding them AGAIN about why they aren’t married.  I’ve heard of women making up international boyfriends, military boyfriends –“we met online and he’s in Iraq fighting for our country,” etc.  Or some singles stay in a bad relationship or continue to date someone they don’t really like JUST so they won’t be alone for the holidays.

No, no, no!

Instead of wallowing in the holiday blues, use this time to do something for yourself!

  • Set goals for next year and start implementing the steps. 
  • Be Santa for your family/friends – come up with some great or much-needed gifts for others.  Do it anonymously and watch them light up when they tell you about their Secret Santa.
  • Mingle with other singles (more on that in part 3)
  • Enjoy family and friends.  Choose to spend time with people who are fun, outgoing and love life!
  • Have your OWN holiday party! – invite all the other single people you know that will be around and make it a FUN time.
  • Give back – do a community service project, feed the homeless, volunteer at a shelter or nursing home, organize a clothing/food drive – get out of yourself and GIVE!

If you have more serious issues during the holidays, check out my interview with Avalaura Gaither Beharry from Avalaura’s Healing Center to hear Avalaura’s tips on dealing with depression or Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) here. (2)

Seasonal Affective Disorder is a type of depression that occurs at a certain time of the year, usually in the winter.

I continued on with Holiday Survival for Singles last Saturday, only this time it was for singles who want to USE the holidays to meet someone.  Whether you are traveling home or staying in town, click this link (3) to hear tips on how to make the holidays a time to meet more potentials, have fun and reconnect with former friends.

“Dating Talk with Kiki Strickland” airs on blogtalkradio.com at 9AM on Saturday mornings.  Subscribe at this link.

I hope these podcasts are helpful in creating wonderful and fun holidays for you as you search for your Mr. Right.

Stay tuned for more topics on dating and relationships from the Matchmaker & Dating Coach in December!

Happy Dating!

 

Still looking for The One? Contact me today!

 Kiki Strickland, Matchmaker & Dating Coach

www.kikistrickland.com

FACEBOOK: www.facebook.com/divamatchmaker

Twitter@DivaMatchmaker

 

Holiday Survival Guide Part 1

Woman Pulling Ribbon on Christmas Gift

Last Saturday I began my Holiday Survival Guide for singles on “Dating Talk with Kiki Strickland.”  Listen here.

That one was for singles who are seeing someone or in a new relationship (I also added a few tips also for those dating a while).  I covered questions like should you get him a gift or invite him to your family’s Thanksgiving dinner if you have only been seeing each other a few months?

One thing I forgot to say is that if you have been dating a while, like a year or so, do not let other people’s comments about engagement get to you.   For instance, well-meaning coworkers or friends may say things like, “I wonder what YOU are getting for Christmas?  Possibly a RING???”

Or worse, they may grab your hand when you come back from Thanksgiving, checking to see if he put a ring on it.

People do not realize that that type of comment or question can be embarrassing for you.  Don’t let it bother you or cause you to wonder/hope/dream that it will happen.  If you two have not talked about engagement or moving forward, do not let the fantasies take over in your mind just because someone outside of your relationship suggested it may happen.  They are not a part of your relationship.  They may be stirring up a false hope.   I have seen it cause resentment in women when their guy does not propose, or even arguments or her pulling away.  The guy is usually clueless as to why.  He does not know that other females (males do not usually make these kinds of comments) have put thoughts of a ring into her head.

Brush off those comments of others and enjoy the holidays with your guy.

Of course, if it HAS been a couple of years of dating and you ARE wondering if you two will move forward, you may want to purchase a podcast I did on “Getting to Engagement” so that you can be sure it is coming.  You do not want several years to go by with the two of you still just dating.

I’m continuing on with Holiday survival for singles this Saturday only this time it will be for singles who are NOT seeing anyone right now.  I will talk about how to handle family questions about your love life (or lack thereof) and avoiding the holiday blues.

“Dating Talk with Kiki Strickland” airs on BlogTalkRadio.com at 9AM on Saturday mornings.  Subscribe at this link.

Happy Dating!

Still looking for The One? Contact me today!
Kiki Strickland, Matchmaker & Dating Coach
Helping you find the LOVE you’ve always dreamed of.
202-718-7797
BlogTalk Radio: ” Dating Talk with Kiki Strickland”
 
#kikistrickland
#topmatchmaker
#marriedin2yearsorless

Sex won’t GET or KEEP him!

couple-in-bedI just received this paragraph from another dating coach who was telling women how to deal with not knowing where you stand with a man.  He said this:

You’ve been seeing a guy you really like for a while.

You’ve had amazing dates. Deep talks. Passionate kisses. Lazy mornings in bed together where nothing in the world seemed to matter but the two of you.   

Could he be “the one?” You wonder… He certainly seems like husband material.   

Still there’s one thing that’s bugging you…   

You haven’t actually defined the relationship. Is he your boyfriend? Are you exclusive?   

But I say, back up!  If you do not know where you stand, WHY are you spending lazy mornings in bed together?  Why are you in his BED at all?

That was mistake #1!  If you are NOT his exclusive girlfriend, don’t sleep with him!

I think many of you are messing up by having sex with men that are not committed to you, not in a relationship with you, may not even really LIKE you.  You are just their in-between girl.  And you sort of know this.  You know they have not mentioned exclusivity or what you are to them (Friend?  Friend with benefits? Possible girlfriend?) but for some reason you actually think having sex with him may put you in the driver’s seat.  It doesn’t!  It is just the opposite.  Now you are MORE attached to him.  And he is LESS attached to you.

After you have sex with him, you may notice he is calling you even less than before.  Or things get hot and heavy (heavier) for a few weeks, then totally stop! He is gone.  Or he now just comes by when he wants sex.  Either way, you are feeling even more confused about what you are to him.  You are more confused and hurt than when you were not sleeping with him yet.

Last Sunday at Zion Church, the pastor did an excellent message on “Your Purpose or Your Sexual Pleasure?” Listen here.  He talked about how many men and women have not been able to control this area of their lives (sex) and how it has taken them off of their purpose in life.  He was talking about your calling in life and God’s purpose for you.  But even in the dating sense – if YOUR purpose and desire is to be married, don’t get sexually involved with someone that isn’t making it clear that they are headed that way with you.

Some of you are thinking that is IMPOSSIBLE to do, that men want sex early and often and won’t stick around if they aren’t getting it.  I think it is sad that you believe that.  Either you are dating the wrong type of men, or you really don’t believe that you are worth waiting for.  You don’t value your body or your ability to keep a man interested in you WITHOUT sex.

We will be talking about mindset issues and inner beliefs at my Mindset Master Class on Dating in November (details coming).  This is for the serious woman who is ready to start doing the inner work to finally find real love.

In the meantime, if you are sleeping with a man that is NOT your verbally-declared committed boyfriend, STOP.  You slept with the last guy and how did that work out for you?  Just saying…

Happy Dating!

Here are events coming up with Kiki:

Meeting Mr. Right in 3-Days – teleseminar – 9AM on Saturday, October 11, 2014

Romance at Any Age with Dr. Diane Kern – October 21 at DC’s Woodbridge Interim Library

Details here

Still looking for The One? Contact me today!
Kiki Strickland, Matchmaker & Dating Coach
Helping you find the LOVE you’ve always dreamed of.
202-718-7797

Married by Age 40?

40 years old card

Some of you are nearing the age of 35, 37, 38 and want to be married by age 40.   I know exactly how you feel.  I met my husband when I was 38, we got engaged when I was 40 and I married him at 41.

Are you headed in that direction right now?  Are you happily in love with a man that will make a great husband?  If not, get cracking!  This is the time to crack down and get more serious and proactive about your love life.

You need a strategy, a plan. Not be desperate and just take the next man that asks you out, but to be STRATEGIC in your dating.

I had a plan.  I had narrowed down the PLACES I knew the type of men I liked went.  And that is exactly where I ended up meeting my husband.  I now work with women on their dating strategy.  It is called “My Dating Plan” and yes, you need one.  Schedule a Meeting Mr. Right Session with me to get started.

You also need to make sure that there are not any inner hindrances keeping you from being successful in a relationship.  Why have your relationships ended?  What was the cause of the breakups?  Were you at fault?  Has it been your insecurities, fears, attitude or issues?  Deal with and correct these NOW before it is too late and you are not only 40 but 50 and still single.

Come to my Dating Mindset Master Class this month, where we will start to do this INNER work to prepare for your future husband.  It’s $50 and takes place on October 25.  Check out my website at www.kikistrickland.com and make sure that you attend if you know you need to be there.

Note:  There really is no rush, however, so don’t get frustrated if you are almost 40.   It may be that you marry at 47, like my cousin, and be extremely happily in love once and for all.  Does it really matter WHEN you find love as long as you find it?

Happy Dating!

 Still looking for The One? Contact me today!

Kiki Strickland, Matchmaker & Dating Coach

Helping you find the LOVE you’ve always dreamed of.

www.kikistrickland.com

 

BlogTalk Radio: ” Dating Talk with Kiki Strickland”

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/dating-talk-with-kiki-strickland

 

FACEBOOK: www.facebook.com/divamatchmaker

Twitter@DivaMatchmaker

 

Traditional Marriages, Applebee’s and Men of Means

monet and vaughn

Ladies, I want to make sure that you know it is OK for you to want to have a traditional marriage with traditional gender roles.  If this is what you want, don’t feel bad!  There are men who also want this.  The key is finding him!

Millions of viewers watched Monet & Vaughn on Married At First Sight discuss their views of traditional marriage.  They both had said they wanted a traditional marriage and that was one of the reasons why they were paired together.  It showed once again that some women still have an interesting view of “traditional.”  It seemed Monet wanted the MAN to be the traditional bread winner and provider of the family but she didn’t think she should have to be the traditional wife.  A traditional wife cooks and cleans or takes responsibility for these things getting done.  Vaughn did not think she was a traditional wife like she claimed to be.

We will be talking about this at my ‘Meeting a Man of Means’ seminar tomorrow.  Women do want a man that can provide for his family.  But women do not always think about what a man who provides wants in return.  Women say that they know they are supposed to be a helpmeet/helpmate to their future husband, but then they do not want to help where he needs it (food, comfort, sex, clean house, emotional support).  Check out radio show “Are You Wife Material” HERE.

My seminar on Saturday is really going to be about finding a man that CAN provide, because there are many men out there who can’t or do not WANT to provide.  They do not make enough money to cover a complete household of wife and children.  They can barely provide for themselves!  And even some who do make decent money or even good money, don’t have that provider mentality.

If you really do want to be a traditional wife (dare I say even a stay-at-home wife/mother), you need to find a man that can and will provide.  And if you want him to provide well, he needs to be a man of means.

Even if you are a woman that makes a lot of money yourself, you may still want a man that makes MORE than you.  How are you going to find that?  Women today are out-earning men in some areas, especially in the African American communities.

I remember when I held my ‘Strong Successful Single Woman Syndrome’ seminar a few years ago, some of the ladies were complaining that men felt intimidated by their success and what they had.  I asked where they were meeting these men.  I will never forget that one woman said she met her last guy at the Applebee’s in Suitland.   Now….I don’t feel I really need to say anything bad about Applebee’s restaurant or Suitland as a city, but I think common sense will probably tell you that you are not going to meet a man of means there.  You have to be more strategic in where you go and who you meet.

We will talk about this more at tomorrow’s seminar.  If you are interested in attending, get your ticket HERE

See you there!

 

Kiki Strickland, Matchmaker & Dating Coach
Helping you find the LOVE you’ve always dreamed of.

Short Hair VS Long Hair…and what men like

long-hair-vs-short-hair-Halle-Berry

One of the wonderful ladies who attended my “Finding a Husband After 40″ seminar last Saturday mentioned that since she has cut her hair short and gone natural, she has not had one guy approach her.  I barely recognized her myself, since it had been over a year since I’d last seen her and she did look drastically different.   I LOVE the new goldish/blonde tint to her hair and her makeup looked flawless!   But the fact that I, a woman, liked it, meant nothing if it was not getting her the results she wanted for her love life.

Do men like longer hair?  Yes!  It is a well-known fact that most men prefer and are more attracted to women with longer hair.  Some don’t care if it is your own hair or not, they just know that they are more attracted to women with more length.

Check out these photos.  Which look do you think is more attractive?  Longer or shorter?

long-hair-vs-short-hair-Hayden-Panettiere long-hair-vs-short-hair-michelle long-hair-vs-short-hair-Natalie-Portman

I believe I personally look better with longer hair.  My figure even appears more shapely when I have more length and my face seems softer and more becoming.

But regardless what I think about it, my husband’s opinion is important.  He has let me know that he likes it longer and definitely prefers my own hair to braids.  I’ve heard him loud and clear on that.  I love braids – they are convenient, allow me to swim, etc. but if my husband doesn’t find them attractive, why would I wear them?  Just because I am married already doesn’t mean that I don’t want to look as attractive as I can to my man.

Some men may prefer short hair.  Find that guy if you plan to keep yours short.  But if you want a wider pool of men to choose from, start growing it longer (or add extensions, hair pieces, clips or get a weave).

I believe in doing whatever it takes to be more appealing – whether losing weight, getting a makeover, growing hair or changing your style of dress.  For example, if men prefer women who look more feminine, put on a dress or skirt.  Don’t look like a tomboy in sweats and t-shirts if you are trying to meet men.  Skirts and sandals or heels are more attractive.  Show some leg!

If you have changed hairstyles and feel that it is hindering your love life, do something about it.  Go to the beauty supply store and check out different options and pieces to possibly add on to the back of your hair.  Consult with the clerks in the store and get their suggestions on how to change up your look.

Here is a new look DC Dating Tele-summit guest speaker Kat Smith gave me during her Diva Makeover Clinic this Spring and I loved it!  My husband did too!  Kat added clip-ons into my hair for an instant longer look.

kiki makeover1

 

The great thing about hair pieces and add-ons is that they are temporary and it’s easy to test them out.  Wear one when you go out shopping and see if there is a difference in the attention you get.  Let me know what happens!

Email me at info@kikistrickland.com

Join us for the DC Dating Tele-summit this week! August 25 – 28 every night at 6:30PM.  You can also listen to the replays at this same link:

DC Dating Tele-summit

Happy Dating!

Kiki

http://www.kikistrickland.com

Using Football to Meet Men

Are you Ready for some FOOTBALL!!!football girl

Football season has started (the pre-season that is) and the sports bars and restaurants have started to fill up!  Ladies, this is a prime opportunity to meet some new guys.  Men LOVE sports, especially football, so why not start visiting some of these venues that are showing the game?  There are usually several men sitting at the bar or nearby high tables enjoying the action.   They are in a good mood (hopefully their team is winning!), they are friendly and looking to talk a little trash.

You should be there!  But you should also know a little bit about football first.  Being clueless and clapping while the opposing team is scoring is a No No (unless you are a fan of the other team).  It is easy to get a little knowledge about the game before heading out in your favorite jersey and joining the bar stools of die-hard fans.

If you are in DC, join us on Thursday, August 21 for the Cliff’s Notes on Football for only $10 with me and my meetup groups.  We will be discussing the basics of the game so you know what is going on while watching.  You can also read up on football on wikipedia or NFL.com on your own, of course.  But get SOME knowledge if you don’t know anything about the game.

What if you are actually there AT the game? Some men like to ATTEND games and will be happy to have you join them.  What if you are invited as a date?  Would you go?  YES! You should! Even if you don’t really care for the game, it is a nice outing and fun to be there in person.

Football can be complicated for some of us, but here are some basic things you should know to enjoy the game if you are at a live game (your man may have season tickets!) and you are not very familiar with football.

THE BASIC GOAL OF EACH PLAY

To simplify what is happening, the goal is to get at least 10 yards with the ball (and the players have 4 chances to do this).  If they get 10 yards, they get another 4 chances.  If they don’t get 10 yards, it’s the other team’s turn to try.

FOLLOW YOUR MAN’S LEAD

When I started going to the Redskins games with my then boyfriend/now husband, I often didn’t even know WHERE the ball was!  It all happened so fast, the play was over before I knew what happened.  That is OK.  Just follow the lead of your man.  If he cheers, you cheer.  If he complains, you complain.  Or say, “I know, right?” or “That’s crazy!”

Asking questions is OK but only if nothing is happening on the field.  If the players are moving, be quiet.

THE REPLAY WILL SHOW WHAT HAPPENED

If you miss something, just wait until the REPLAY on the screen shows a close up of the play.  No need to say much until then.  Then you can comment on it, i.e. “That was CLEARLY a touchdown!”

LOOK FOR THE TEXT DISPLAY

It took me a long while to realize that everything the announcer said about the play was showing up in a little display in the stands.  For instance, right after it happens, you can read an exact account of the play:  “Pass intended for Helu incomplete.”   Or “That was Roy Helu for a gain of six yards!”  So as long as you are watching the text on that display screen, you will know what happened.

THERE ARE DIFFERENT TEAMS FOR DIFFERENT PLAYS

Yes, they are all on one team, but you may see one set of your team’s players running off the field and another set running on.  What is going on?  Another unit/team is coming out to run a different type of play.  There is the offensive unit, defensive unit and special teams (for kicking plays).  Think of it like different department handling different parts of the game.

There is a LOT more you need to know to have even a basic understanding of the game, so join us for “Football Basics for Women” on August 21 in Chinatown, DC.  Contact me at info@kikistrickland.com to sign up.

Or read up on ‘American Football’ on Wikipedia or go to NFL.com.

Also join us for a Monday Night Flirt Night – details coming soon!

Happy Dating!

Kiki Strickland

http://www.kikistrickland.com

Kiki Strickland is a Matchmaker and certified Dating Coach who is passionate about helping smart, successful singles who have a difficult time finding and keeping love.   Her private coaching sessions and dating seminars are all about providing love life solutions to singles who desire to be married.  Through her Flirt Nights, “Meeting Mr. Right” classes, Love Attraction Retreats and more, Kiki is helping singles find love and the relationship they have dreamed of.